Handicap Update & Haole Cup Odds (part 2)
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Today, we look at Big Chief, Guillermo, Sparky and Bonk. Their history, form and odds from the pundits and the punters as they chase the CHoY Title in the DR:
TJ Big Chief Connolly
GHIN 22.6
68-under par. That’s a big number. Big Chief Haole likes to declare, “I’m starting with a 68-shot lead…”
While he has had a successful career turning numbers into compelling stories, we should look back at the wisdom of his mother, the late-great Carol Connolly, “He’s also really good at how to lie with statistics…”
While he has a 62-shot advantage over Security in stroke play, by the time he gets to Sparky, Bonk and Needler, that lead is whittled to +/-21 shots…, over 3-rounds. The question is - can Big Chief deliver 3 rounds in double digits? This pundit thinks three rounds under 100, and he could run away with the title. What do the punters think of his chances to channel the spirit of Ouizzy on the Teeth of the Dog on Saturday?
Opening round lead: 20-1
CHoY: 101-1
G Sparky Burdo
GHIN 15.5
Sparky is poised to come out swinging in the DR - just look at his latest hit on the wager-wire!
We want to know, will the bougie from Birchwood, jet-setting between Cummaquid, Boca and TPC Sarasota come ready to play with personal trainer, and swing coach in tow? More importantly…, are there enough flower bottles of Pinot Grigio in the DR to calm his nerves come Haole crunch time?
And, this pundit would suggest - don't bet against Sparky. He is the one and only Haole to defy the odds (and the orders of the Big Chief) by retaining his Haole status after bailing out before the Championship Match at the ‘24 Cup. Bottom line - Sparky has some juice! Is it secret Big Chief sex tapes? Insider trading tips? Endless cigars? Good tee times? Nah…, Sparky flies private!
Opening round lead: 15-1
CHoY: 40-1
A Bonk Connolly
GHIN 15.9
Probably the toughest for the author to critique, but let’s call a spade a spade - smart money is not going on this crippled old dog. History shows that Bonk has held his own in rounds one and two of these majors, but his performance on closing day would make Jean van de Velde look like a closer. Destroyed by 2SBC at the Song in ’24…, then opening with 5 straight doubles and shooting well into the 100’s at Quivira in ’25 to drop from 2nd to 6th - 26 shots behind Champ.
Then we have his current form…, after a mysterious lower body injury sidelined him in September - and thanks to Needler for literally getting him back of his feet - he took divots on his first 3 drives his last time out. While he can still putt - draining a couple of Kardashians for his team in a recent scramble, Casa de Campo will demand more from tee to green.
Opening round lead: 15:1
CHoY: 50-1
Last but not least, we have:
W Guillermo Connolly
GHIN: 11.9
Ohhhh, Billy, Billy, Billy… Guillermo enters this year’s Haole as the only member of the East Lyme Connolly’s without a Champion Haole of the Year trophy on his mantle. After getting eliminated in round 1 at the Song, last year’s 3rd round at Quivira brought him from the basement to a distant second to Champ. Did he find his Haole footing? Is there a glimmer of hope that maybe he could deliver in a major? Or, is he just another Fleetwood, Westwood or Rickie Fowler (ouch…) - authors of valiant charges in the final round with no trophies to show for it?
His 11.9 strokes position him to make a charge, yet the pundits and the punters aren’t sold. Why? The flat stick. Will it be the two-ball…, the Scottie…, the Billy Baroo…? Guillermo has used more putters than Brooks Koepka in 2026 and the results are similar - too many Lewinsky’s and Porn Stars - simply not enough Kardashian.
Opening round lead: 3-1
CHoY: 12-1
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